FHMA Day 10: Therapy by Beagle

QUICK FACTS

• Where We Started: Montgomery, Ala.
• Where We Ended: Pensacola, Fla.
• Miles Driven: 261 (2,090 total)
• New States: Florida
• Total States: 6 (Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Florida)

THE DAY'S HIGHLIGHTS

 I'm sure many of you think Fred and Hank are famous merely because of their willingness to travel the country and be used shamelessly as props by two owners and to be dressed up by one of them. (Have I mentioned that Joan likes to dress the dogs?) But that's not true. In Luverne, Ala., these beagles have been celebrities for some time.

When Joan's friend, Vicki Lawrenson -- who cooked us our amazing dinner Saturday -- left AOL five years ago and moved to Alabama to run rural hospitals and clinics, Joan thought she was nuts. But, as a supportive friend, she helped Vicki move down south, and while there, was given a tour of one of the hospitals. From Joan's perspective, it didn't have much to recommend it. A year later, Joan visited again and saw how the hospital had been transformed. It was clean. The staff was smiling. The patients were smiling.  It looked like a place where people could get well, both mentally and physically.

When Vicki told Joan she was going to open a psychiatric hospital for children ages 8 through 17, Joan was keenly aware of how important that was. Because of her work with children in foster care in the DC metro area, she knows that there are more children needing psychiatric care than there are good facilities that can help them.  This is a nationwide problem.  Keeping children safe -- both from themselves and from others -- becomes the critical priority, with psychiatric help secondary. In Alabama, this problem is especially acute. There are very few children's psychiatric hospitals in the state, and children often end up in facilities not designed for -- or suitable for -- children.

About a year ago, Vicki was giving Joan a progress report on the children's hospital, and Vicki mentioned they were looking for something to hang on the walls. In Joan's experience children respond amazing well to Fred and Hank, both in person and in pictures, and asked Vicki whether some photos from her "Fred & Hank Take D.C." photo book -- made up of photos of the beagles in front of famous Washington monuments -- would work. Fast forward a few months, and right about the time the hospital opened, Fred and Hank were hanging all over the walls at this new facility. So, as we passed through Alabama, Vicki asked if we wanted to see the hospital and introduce rock stars Fred and Hank to the staff and the two of the children currently at the facility. We were told that the announcement of our visit was met with great excitement.

Joan drove down to Luverne, Ala. -- where the hospital is located -- with Vicki, leaving me in the rare position of driving alone. Yet it seemed fitting, as the two celebrity beagles rested comfortably in the back seat while being driven to their show. I felt like a roadie.

We arrived at Beacon Children's Hospital and were thrilled to see how many of the pictures had been used. The pictures are matted and framed in the entry way and in the common areas, and they're  laminated and mounted to the wall via Velcro to ensure safety.

After the staff fawned over the beagles for a few minutes, we took them into a common area so the girls could meet Fred and Hank. They snuggled a very friendly Hank, while Fred was a bit more aloof.

Joan asked one of the girls whether Fred and Hank looked like they expected from the pictures. One of the girls responded, "Well, they aren't as classy as they look in the pictures." Joan looked up to see Fred humping the girl's arm.   Fact is, Fred was trying to hump everything and every one; apparently, he took some Vi-beag-ra before we got to the hospital. Luckily, this didn't last more than four hours, so we did not need to see a doctor.

Now, Joan has spent time at the two local children's psychiatric facilities in D.C. -- the Psychiatric Institute of Washington and Riverside Hospital. During the years Joan was visiting there -- 2004 to 2006 -- you wouldn't have wanted to leave your pet there, much less your child. Her memory of those facilities was in stark contrast to the bright and sunny feel of Beacon Children's Hospital. The staff were all smiling and pleasant with us -- but, more importantly -- also in unguarded moments with the girls who are being treated there. Because the hospital is in a rural area, they aren't able to have a therapist on site more than three days per week. To ensure that the children get the therapeutic support they need on the other days, the hospital has set up a system so that patient and psychiatrist can talk via teleconferencing technology.

 For obvious reasons, we can't show you any pictures of the lovely girls we met, but here are a few pictures of Fred and Hank during their visit to Beacon.

You can see some of the photos of Fred and Hank that adorn the facility in the top center of the photo.

 
Hank and Fred wait for the next person to come in and fawn over them.

 
Fred and Hank under photos of themselves at Beacon's Children's Hospital. Fred is still looking for something to hump.
 
As we continue our mission of using as many different web technologies as possble, Joan has used YouTube to put together a slide show of photos from the Fred and Hank Take D.C. collection.

We closed the active part of the day by finding a nice, wide beach to give Fred and Hank a run. Neither beagle much likes the water, though Fred bravely charged toward it every time a wave receded, only to scamper back to safety when the next wave hit. But they had a great time.

Fred the Beach Bum.

 ROAD SCRAPS

• One first I forgot to mention yesterday: On Saturday night, we made our first time zone change when we left Georgia and entered Alabama. We're now on Central time, which means my daily report might come a bit later. Sorry.
• Lovely sight on the highway as we were blowing through southern Alabama. We're driving behind a Chevy LeBaron that probably dates to the late 1970s. Basically, an old, rusted piece of shit. The passenger is enjoying his lunch, which we know because every time he finishes any part of it, he throws the refuse out of the car and onto the side of the highway. First, a hamburger wrapper, then a french fries container, then the soda cup full of ice. Now, there's no excuse for ever littering like this, but watching someone throw litter from an even larger piece of litter was ironic. Yeah, don't do anything to mess up the car, dude.
• I was so outraged by this little piece of highway theater that I completely forgot to keep an eye on the gas tank. Luckily, the car tells you when you're down to your last 30 miles, so I started patiently looking for a gas station. But we were in a very rural part of Alabama at this point, and suddenly, we were down to 20 miles, then 15, then 10. Panic started to set in. Finally, we saw a gas station on the left side of the road. We breathed a sigh of relief, only to discover it was closed. I'm starting to wonder if this is some cosmic retribution for making fun of the Billy Carter Service Station Museum. We check the car's nav system, and make a beeline for the nearest town, even though it's in the completely opposite direction of where we're headed. Finally, with five miles to spare, we find a BP in Opp, Ala. Yup, just Opp. Once we filled Opp, we were back on the path to the Gulf Coast.
• I was also the beneficiary of a traffic light outage in Florala, Ala. Named so because it sits right on the Florida-Alabama border, the town was having a rough day, as all of its traffic lights were out, save one. That would be the one I blatantly ran right in front of a Florala cop. Surprisingly, he ignored me -- because he could not have missed my flagrant violation. Our assumption is he gave me a break because every other light in town was out and he was needed to help direct traffic. Whew.
• So we're cruising down U.S.-98 through Fort Walton Beach, Fla., and we see a Quality Inn advertising a "Manager's Special." Now, from what Joan has learned in her experiences with hotel booking agents, the "manager's special" usually isn't publicly advertised; it's something a crafty negotiator like Joan has to root out. We now believe Quality Inn execs are monitoring our path, and trying to suck us in by advertising these specials on roads we will be taking. Soon, we expect to see "Joan, please stop here and ask about our rate for Irish-Italians."
• Sign of the Day: "Highest Point in Florida: Britton Hill, 345 Feet." Ooooh. That's called a speed bump in Colorado. And because, well, I'm a geek, I decided to see whether this was the lowest high point in the country. It is, "beating" Delaware by 103 feet. The only other states not to have any point above 1,000 feet: Louisiana, Mississippi and Rhode Island. Here's the list of every state's highest point.
• Sometimes, a highway billboard cries out for more explanation. So when I saw a huge picture of former Twisted Sister singer -- and I use the word "singer" loosely -- Dee Snider, with the kicker "Dee Snider Supports Alabama Bikers for Babies," I felt the need to do some research. Turns out Snider -- who's been married for 32 years (and to the same woman, even) and has four kids -- is supporting a March of Dimes program for premature births and birth defects. Good for him.
• I mentioned yesterday how Joan hadn't seen the comic potential in a man with a five o'clock shadow dressed in a pink bunny suit lying in a doorway like a vagrant. That's because she's an artist, and I'm a clown. But here is a picture of that scene.

Yeah, what could be funny about this?

• One of the hallmarks of our last trip was we mixed in visiting national parks and historical sites with pure kitsch. We saw two huge balls of twine -- in Minnesota and Kansas. We saw Carhenge. But, thus far, on this trip, we hadn't found anything kitschy worth making a stop for. Until Saturday, when we went to see the huge Jimmy Carter Peanut in Plains, Ga.

 
The Jimmy Carter Peanut, with a helpful posing bench in front. Unfortunately, we could not pose Fred and Hank here, since there was a dog outside the house right behind this peanut. And considering that house has been completely devalued by the presence of this "artifact," we assumed he'd be a pretty grumpy dog.

• I mentioned briefly yesterday that we'd done a 20-hour marathon drive home from the Florida panhandle to close our 2003 trip. We decided to do that because we were tired after 15 weeks on the road, a tad grumpy and just plain ready to be home. But the final straw was a particularly horrible lunch at A.J.'s Tiki Bar in Destin, Fla. This is our account of that meal: 

•  
  • We decided to stop for lunch on the water at A.J.'s Tiki Bar, a place recommended by our friend Vicki when we asked where we could find good seafood. And because it was an odd time of day, we got a nice table looking out over the Gulf. An excited Joan then told the waitress how hungry she was, and we ordered quite a pile of food. Then, one key thing went wrong: the food arrived. Joan's clam chowder was too salty; though I was happy, since I like it that way. Hoping it was just a bump in the road, Joan eagerly awaited her shrimp salad and tuna dip. She then got her salad, took one bite and pushed away the plate. The tuna dip got two tries before it too was shoved to the side, never to be touched again. We later discovered that Vicki is allergic to seafood. I commented that this information would have been helpful prior to her recommending a SEAFOOD restaurant.
    
  • The waitress came back, and said, "I thought you were hungry."
    
  • Joan, trying not to offend, responded, "I am, but I'm so sorry to tell you the food is not very good."
  • "Oh, I know what you mean. Sometimes you come to a restaurant and have expectations that are not met," the waitress says.
  • "Yes," Joan agreed. "I generally expect the food to be fresh."
    
  • Luckily, the waitress had a great attitude, and we all laughed while the full plates were removed by what we hoped was the EPA.
  • Now, over the course of the previous few days, Joan and I had been discussing our plan for getting home. The original plan to spend Saturday night somewhere in Florida and Sunday night between Florida and Virginia before arriving home Monday afternoon. But after our night at the horrific Montgomery Comfort Suites and a meal that made us yearn for some green onions at Chi Chi's, we took stock and decided to get back in the car and go home. Sure, the nav said it was a 16-hour drive. But we were willing and able. And, more importantly, we were ready.

• So, imagine our curiosity as we drove through Destin last night. Hoping against hope that -- in order to protect the public, A.J.'s had been shut down -- we instead encountered this sign.

 
Apparently, A.J.'s Tiki Bar is now "famous." For what, I have no idea. But it ain't the food. Maybe it's because we named it the worst meal of our 2003 trip?

MUSIC REPORT

• Random iPod shuffle song of the day: "Transona Five," by Stereolab. I got into Stereolab a few years ago, thanks to a recommendation from an editor at The Post, and while I don't like everything they do, I always find it interesting. Falling somewhere between pop and electronic, they may not be everyone's taste. My favorite Stereolab tunes: "I'm Going Out of My Way" and "Kybernetika Babicka Part !."
• Most-played albums: We did mostly shuffle play on Sunday, but did take a break to give the new Byrne/Eno album its 1,000th play, and ran through the soundtrack for "Juno," much of which was done by the Moldy Peaches.

MEAL REPORT

• Lunch: Subway, Luverne, Ala.: After visiting the children's hospital, we grabbed lunch at a nearby Subway. We ate perfectly healthy, once we got our food. The help at this particular establishment was earnest, but spoke barely passable English, and Joan's decision to get two-thirds of what comprises a "meal" at Subway -- the chips and the drink -- but not the actual sandwich required a Bretton Woods-like summit behind the counter to resolve. But, after 10 minutes, we finally got our food, and it was fine. Jim Nutrition Rating: 3 stars (out of 5). A six-inch tuna sub was good, though the chips choice of Doritos was not. Restaurant Rating: 2.5 stars (out of 5, on the fast-food scale).

• Dinner: Seville Diner, Pensacola, Fla.: We were unable to find our original Roadfood destination -- Jerry's Drive-In -- because we were looking for, well, a drive-in. Turns out Jerry's is a walk-in place, not a drive-in. Whatever the reason, we couldn't find it, so opted for this 24/7 diner near our hotel, and went in with low expectations, since we were literally the only people in the joint. But we were pleasantly surprised, as Joan had a delicious chocolate shake, and a tasty grilled cheese sandwich. I got a tuna melt. Jim Nutrition Rating: 2 (out of 5). Oh, did I mention I had fries again? Starting today -- he says hopefully -- I will start a one-week boycott of french fries. I will start by uttering those horrible words -- "Can I substitute vegetables for those fries?" -- and go from there.
• Weigh-In Note: We postponed this morning's weigh-in, since we left the scale in the car, and we're on the third floor of this hotel. We'll do it tomorrow.

HOTEL REPORT

• Days Inn Pensacola - Historic Downtown, Pensacola, Fla.: Determined not to do another Quality Inn -- even though the one in Montgomery, Ala. wasn't bad -- we opted for a Days Inn. Now, it's always a bad sign when you're checking in, and someone comes to the lobby and complains that their brand-new room isn't made up. So when Joan reported this, we took our already-low expectations down a notch. The shady clientele wandering the area didn't help matters. And it's never good when the official sound of a hotel is a blaring car alarm. So, by the time we got to the room, anything short of a corpse in the bed would have been considered a success. And, in the end, it was fine -- and I mean fine in that way that means "not fine." There was no remote control for the TV, so Joan had to go get one. And that one didn't work. So I finally found some controls on the side of the TV, only to discover the TV didn't work anyway. Sigh. Bonus half star for Joan being able to do 2 loads of laundry at the hotel.  Rating: 1.5 stars (out of 5).

TRAVEL WEB SITE OF THE DAY

• National Park Service site: This is a great site for finding all the national park facilities, and also all the associated maps. We've found the national parks to be well-managed and almost always more interesting than expected. Also, a bonus travel tip: If you do a trip like this, you can buy an $80 annual pass that gets you into every national park facility. Well worth it, since some of the big parks cost $20 all by themselves. Another tip: Don't order one while on line to get into a national park facility; we made that mistake, and created a traffic jam at Fort Pulaski National Monument.

COMMENTS OF THE DAY

OK, two today. First, from Dennis Tuttle:

• I'm even more convinced Fred and Hank will get their own reality TV show and Jim and Joan will find themselves riding the backseat of the whole deal. Poetic comeuppance.

Then, a response from Tammy Kennon:

 

• I'd say that arguably Fred and Hank are not merely riding in the back seat but rather they are being chauffeured about the country.

  "Your raincoat, Monsieur Fred?" ;-)

Honestly, is anyone reading this not yet clear who's in charge on this journey? Only two of the four living beings on this trip get fed, have their poop picked up and get to sleep for 18 hours a day while the other two have to do all the driving, planning, paying, car loading, etc. Anyone who thinks dogs don't rule the world isn't paying attention.

UPCOMING PLAN (subject to change)

• Today: The Gulf Coast, probably Mobile and Pensacola, Fla.
• Tomorrow: New Orleans.
• The Day After Tomorrow: Mississippi and the Natchez Trace Parkway.

BONUS BEAGLE PHOTO

Hank chases yet another excellent beach scent at Miramar Beach, Fla.
 

Comments

[Cathy Moscatelli]

Did you say a Manager's Special for Irish-Italians? Where can I sign up?

[Chris]

I beg to differ with the caption for today's bonus beagle photo....

this is Hank on the beach, trying to get away after discovering that not only had Joan packed his raincoat, but his Speedo as well :-)

Love you Joan!!!

[Matthew Greenberg]

I enjoy the irony that, while working to lose weight and get in better shape, you opted not to check your progress because walking three flights of stairs back to the car to get the scale was too taxing.

[Maura McCarthy]

Therapy by beagle is powerful stuff. What a great story!

[Mark Potts]

Possible alternate blog title: "Driving Mssrs. Fred and Hank"

[Miss Information]

I think you guys would like the Camellia Grill in New Orleans on the St. Charles streetcar line. It's uptown, near Tulane (hence my deep knowledge of the menu). Don't tell Janet Zalman I suggested the chili-cheese omelette (with delicious fries) and grilled (in lashings of butter) pecan pie. It's a gorgeous old diner with elegant counter men, too. Love to all of you
The Camellia Grill
626 S Carrollton Ave
New Orleans, LA 70118
(504) 866-9573

[Susan Askew]

Ahem, we native Delawareans take exception to anyone other than us making fun of our state. Did you know one of our governors once described Delaware as having three counties; two at high tide? Having fun vicariously through you!

[Lucie]

Is Mike Corones following you? (aka: pink bunny costume)... If you don't know what that means, it could be weird. But if you, then you know something is up... Corones, where are you?

[Rebecca]

Should we be concerned about Joan's *perhaps* unnatural inclination to do the laundry at every turn!?

[Vicki Lawrenson]

Okay - In my defense to getting the prize for worst meal recommendation of the 2003 trip, just remember the view was great at AJ's. Also I have forever sworn off recommending resturants after my very public failure and have strangely received no job offers as a food critic.

Be safe

[dentuttle]

HAHAHAHA . . . hehehe . . . Har-dee-har-har.

[L'OrIlana]

>>Honestly, is anyone reading this not yet clear who's in charge on this journey? Only two of the four living beings on this trip get fed, have their poop picked up and get to sleep for 18 hours a day while the other two have to do all the driving, planning, paying, car loading, etc. Anyone who thinks dogs don't rule the world isn't paying attention.<<

This sounds a lot like being Ilana's mom. Although she doesn't sleep 18 hours a day-- instead she demands to be entertained. Read my book, play with me, blah blah. Like we're her parents!

I'm thinking if you make it to Park City she and Hank and Fred can see who can eat the most. This could be quite the evening entertainment.

[Ken Sands]

Jim, being a high-point geek myself (CA, OR, WA, VA, W.Va., MD, PA so far), it's worth pointing out that the high point of Washington, D.C., is Fort Reno, just off of Wisconsin and Fessenden in Northwest, just a few blocks from my house. It apparently is either 409 feet or 424 feet. No need for crampons and ice axes to reach this summit. You could even do it carrying a bathroom scale. It's not quite three stories from street level.

[Tamara & John and their beagles, Elvis and Abbey, from Michigan]

Thanks for sharing the story about the beagles and the hospital. They make GREAT therapy dogs. I used to bring my beagles into my folk's nursing home and they were very popular.

Am envious that you passed through Ft. Walton Beach. My Dad was stationed there, and my older brother was born there. Sand as white as snow, as evidenced by the bonus picture (most beagles hate getting wet, by the way...)

[Jason Manning]

Jim -- you forgot to mention that Fort Walton Beach is the hometown of Heisman Trophy winner Danny Wuerffel -- he who led the Florida Gators to a national championship in 1996.

Mobile has the oldest Mardi Gras in America -- and Independent Lens just had a great documentary on how the celebration is still segregated -- and how some people are trying to change it:

The Order of Myths:
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/orderofmyths/film.html

Also, a couple of songs about the Gulf Coast:

Shelby Lynne -- "Where I'm From"
http://www.rhapsody.com/shelby-lynne/i-am-shelby-lynne

Shawn Mullins -- "The Gulf of Mexico"
http://www.rhapsody.com/shawn-mullins/the-essential-shawn-mullins

[Robin Lunt]

I am totally inspired by Joan's negotiation skills. I am a huge priceline fan especially for trips like this and wonder how Joan's skills compare to Priceline--name your own price. Can you even do priceline when you need to have dogs included in the rate?

[Christopher]

That is awesome!

I was a patient on the psyche unit at Children's Hospital in dc (15ish years ago). This kind of thing is always a warm welcome if you are a kid stuck on a psyche unit.

The quality of residential treatment centers and hospitals ranges so vastly. Many placements for kids don't take the time for this kind of thing. It is so cool that Fred and Hank are aware of this problem and do there part to make them more cheerfull!

[Joshua Hatch]

Since you made reference to carhenge, I feel it necessary to point out foamhenge (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/9209), which I'm sure you already know.

[Andrew Salomon]

Love the elevation map. I'm a topography geek.

[Psychln]

Pink man in bunny suit right up there w/ Homer's "Man gets hit in junk w/ football"...always funny.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/20927/the-simpsons-man-getting-hit-by-football

[Joan Brady]

Hey Robin -- I know that calling the hotels gets me a better rate than using the hotel websites (despite the fact that they all say "Best rate guaranteed") The websites don't seem to have a check-off box for traveling with pets.. I"ll check out priceline to be sure though. Thanks for the tip!

[Joan Brady]

Chris - I must admit that while Fred and Hank do not have matching Speedos... they do have his and his sunglasses which I did not pack for this trip. ;-)

[amanda]

That bunny looks veeeeery similar to one Mike Corones.

[elena daly]

Okay,guys, I concede that the National Park Service does a great job on some wonderful areas, but I couldn't let you go further without urging you to check out the National landscape Conservation system website before you get to the west. kashe katui in new Mexico, Canyons of the Ancients in Colorado 9more ruins thatn Mesa Verde!), Agua Fria north of Phoenix, Red Rock Conservation Area and Sloan Canyon in nevada, Grand Canyon Parachant and Vermilion Cliffs in Arizona, and Santa Rosa-San jacinto (Palm Springs), Headwaters Forest Reserve and King Range(northern Calif.), and Carrizo Plain near Bakersfield. let me know if you want contacts or guides. these are spectacular as yet undiscovered places!

Elena 9and you thought i reitred!)

[Joan Brady]

I've been hoping you would weigh in! Thanks for the tips.

j.

[Ken Sands]

Do you have Cake's "Comfort Eagle" album?

She wants a car with a cup-holder arm rest
She wants a car that will get her there
She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler Le Baron

(Not Chevy.)

[Lynne]

I have an AJ's story for you. Three years ago our friends arrived in Destin early and decided to eat at AJ's before checking into their condo. They valet parked their Suburban with their luggage in the back. Later, when they checked into the condo and started to unpack, my friend discovered that a bag in her suitcase containing all of her jewelry was missing. AJ's refused to take responsibility and they had to file a claim under their homeowner's insurance coverage.

We have also eaten at AJ's. It truely is terrible food.

[Alyson Hurt]

I'm honestly not sure what's funnier -- the Jimmy Carter peanut or the Corones doppelganger. Either way, OMG.

Echo the jealousy at passing through Ft. Walton and Pensacola. (My family was stationed in the area for a few years when I was a kid.) The beach looks as gorgeous as I remember, with that white, powdery sand.

[Jim Brady]

Hey, Amanda, can you get me some of those Corones bunny pics? Would love to write about the irony of that pink bunny...