FHMA Day 16: Big Meltdown in Little Rock

QUICK FACTS

• Where We Started: Memphis, Tenn.
• Where We Ended: Little Rock, Ark.
• Miles Driven: 487 (3,488 total)
• New States: Arkansas
• Total States: 10 (Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee, Arkansas)

THE DAY'S HIGHLIGHTS

It was an eventful day on the FHMA tour on Saturday, as four weary travelers spent much of the day in the car, seeing an eclectic mix of sights. And it ended badly, with the first complete meltdown of the trip by one of the quartet. But more on that later.

The day began with a quick driving tour of Memphis. As I mentioned yesterday, we decided not to do Graceland, the National Civil Rights Museum or other tourist sites, since we did them in 2003 and wanted to see some new places. We did drive past about 10 famous Memphis sites in about an hour, though, including the Stax Museum of American Soul Music, Sun Studios, Beale Street and others. The only actual stop was to fix an error from back in 2003, when I screwed up and set my camera improperly when trying to take pictures outside the National Civil Rights Museum. If left me with nothing usable, so I wanted to rectify that.

The balcony where Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the former Lorraine Motel in Memphis. The hotel is now the site of the National Civil Rights Museum. (Photo by Jim)

Now, I have been to the Civil Rights Museum twice, and it is one of the finest museums in the country. On each visit, I felt like I could have stayed another few hours. That is not the case with Graceland; to me, if you've seen it once, that's plenty. But because we care about our faithful readers, we did a 45-mile-per-hour tour of Elvis's final home and resting place. Joan snapped this as I blew past.

The express tour of Graceland. And it's free!

From Elvis's final home, we went to his first home: Tupelo, Miss. Here, there was no shag carpeting, no bearskin rugs, no hideously gaudy decor. In fact, Elvis's first home was everything Graceland was not.

The home where Elvis Presley was born, in Tupelo, Miss. The house has been restored. (Photo by Jim)

The home is just a part of the Elvis Presley Birthplace complex. Also there: Elvis's first church, an Elvis statue, a birthplace museum, a fountain and a city park. Apparently, after he became, you know, ELVIS, he returned to Tupelo to perform, and saw that the site of his former birthplace was up for sale. So he told the city he'd donate all of revenue from the concert to the city, as long as they turned the site into a city park. And Tupelo said, "Thank you, thank you very much."

Tupelo also features the relatively new Tupelo Automobile Museum, which features hundreds of vintage cars, going back to the late 1800s. This is crack for auto junkies, as every car features a button you can push to hear the history of either that specific car or the make. There are some celebrity cars there as well. Including -- OK, c'mon, you can guess -- one of Elvis's old Lincolns. Also on site: A candelabra-adorned car once owned by Liberace.

A car once owned by Liberace. I've been thinking about what joke to make here, but for some reason, I'm coming up blank.

We then took a nice ride through the pretty university town of Oxford, Miss., and then concluded our drive across Mississippi with a stop in Clarksdale. This Delta town has clearly seen better times, but I wanted to stop because it's the city where, legend has it, Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads of town. Now called, less sexily, the intersection of DeSoto and State streets, this famous intersection pays homage to the story.

The intersection where Robert Johnson supposedly sold his soul to the devil. Being that he died at 26, he probably should have found a better agent.

From there, it was a too-long drive to Little Rock, Ark., where we wearily arrived in the hotel room at around 10pm local time. Everything seemed to be going fine, as we settled into our nightly routine: Joan started looking at her pictures, I started thinking about writing and the dogs chilled out.

It all started innocently enough. Fred decided to hop off the bed and relax underneath it, as he did a few nights back in Memphis. He stayed down there a while, but when he decided to come out from under the bed, found himself stuck. So he whined until Joan realized he needed help. Joan tried, but he'd wedged himself in pretty well. So Joan suggested I lift the bed to give him the space to get out. We tried, but the bed was really, really heavy, and Fred wasn't doing much to get himself out. Eventually, I had to drop the bed a little -- not all the way -- but that little drop caused Fred to freak out. Seemingly under the impression we were trying to hurt him and not help him, he started snarling and biting at the hands -- namely, mine -- that were holding up the bed. This was about the most aggressive we've ever seen Fred, who is generally well-behaved and mellow. I tried to fight fire with fire, and made it clear to him who was boss. Let's just say he wasn't impressed. On top of all this, Fred has now started to bark wildly, and it's 11:30pm. So we have a snarling, barking, completely out of control dog on our hands. We've long since accepted that security is coming; we're just trying to figure out how we're going to be able to get Fred out in order to move to the new hotel we're surely going to need.

Now, please remember, through all of this, I'm still holding up the very heavy bed, which is still fully loaded with a mattress and box spring. Matters are not helped by Hank, who has decided to start barking as well and is now next to Fred, under the bed I'm precariously holding, presumably out of some need for canine solidarity.

Thankfully, Joan takes the long view, and gets Fred's most favorite treats out of her magic dog bag, and starts drawing Fred out slowly, like E.T. with Reese's Pieces. I was not confident in this approach, as Fred was acting demonic. But, no matter how evil a beagle can behave, food is always the priority. So Joan finally entices Hank out from under the bed, and Fred, sure enough, starts to eat these treats and slowly walks his way out as well. Five minutes after it started, it's over. And, immediately, Fred is contrite. He comes over to me, and lays down next to me, and soon repeats the same act with Joan. Our best guess is he got scared, felt trapped and, for some reason, snapped. All seems well this morning, as Fred has been kissing both our asses. As well he should.

Oh, and by the way, security never came. Or maybe they did, arrived outside the door, heard what appeared to be Cujo, and decided they weren't getting paid nearly enough.

ROAD SCRAPS

•  It was a hard day overall for Fred. I mentioned in Fred's profile that, on the 2003 trip, he developed a short, hilarious habit of attacking our windshield wipers from inside the car. Finding little success at this, he eventually stopped, and this behavior was not seen again. On this trip, he made one brief attack on the wipers in Florida, but that was it. So when we stopped for gas in Memphis on Saturday, and I decided to clean the windshield with a squeegee at the station, I wasn't even thinking about how Fred might react. Alas, he went bananas. This story is better told with pictures. (Of course, these pictures were taken after Fred's initial attack, as we wanted to capture these images).

Fred attacks, while Hank tries to sniff out what the hell is going on.

As Fred persists, Hank comes forward to get a closer look.

Hank officially joins the party, and gets his bark on.

• Now, I am a child, so I enjoyed Fred's reaction so much that I washed the windshield for about 10 minutes longer than necessary. Hey, why not? Fred's a sweet dog; I'm sure this taunting won't have any long-term effect. It's not like he's going to get to the hotel and act like a pit bull. Right? Anyway, this brilliant maneuver on my part may have led to Fred's late meltdown. It also didn't achieve much in terms of the windshield. As we're driving away from the gas station, I see that the bug spatter that covered the outside of the windshield is now indeed gone, but it's been replaced by Fred nose smudges on the inside of the windshield. That'll teach me to be a smart ass. Maybe. OK, probably not.
• As we were driving toward Tupelo and playing Elvis, we heard "In the Ghetto." Is it just me, or should Elvis really have stayed away from taking up social causes in songs? It just sounds weird to hear Elvis -- who dressed like a pimp, shot out TVs whenever Robert Goulet came on and was generally a pretty sheltered, out-of-touch guy -- to be singing about the plight of poor kids in the ghetto. Even if he himself was once one of those kids. Comes off like Liberace doing a song about the nation's crack problem.
• Great piece of useless sports trivia. The official speed limit of the University of Mississippi is 18 miles per hour. Why 18 miles per hour, you ask? It's because the school's greatest football player of all time -- Archie Manning, Peyton and Eli's dad -- wore No. 18 when he played. Too bad Ole Miss's best player of all time wasn't a wide receiver. (Joke translation for non-sports fans: Wide receivers tend to wear numbers in the 80s, so had they matched the speed limit to a wide receiver, I could have driven 80 miles per hour through campus. Thank you, I'll be here all week).
• Walking out of the Tupleo Automobile Museum, Joan noticed one of the odder sights thus far in our journey: A man wearing jeans who had written on the leather tag, "1977." Now, one can only assume this refers to the year. Does anyone reading this date their jeans? Was 1977 a particularly good year for Levis? Was the climate right, allowing for a particularly tasty harvest. Either way, that's one bouquet I don't want to smell. And if the "1977" does refer to the year, had he really had these jeans for 32 years? A quick glance suggested it was possible.
• While leaving Tupelo, we passed the Tupelo National Battlefield. Really quickly. This national battlefield measures a grand total of one acre, meaning its slightly bigger than our backyard. That must have been quite a battle.
• Talk about good fortune: Currently running for mayor in Elvis's hometown of Tupelo: James R. Presley. It's unclear whether he's related to THE Presley family, but unless he's running against a guy named Robert E. Lee, I'm feeling good about his chances.

FHMA PROGRAMMING NOTES

• Some of you have asked whether we were going to use maps to show where we've been. We've had one, in the nav at the top of the blog, since they day we launched. So if you want to see where we've been, check out The Trip So Far. (I have not added Saturday's drive yet).
• If you're trying to read FHMA on your mobile phone, and the display and/or images sizes are an issue, try going to Mowser.com on your mobile device, and plugging in the URL fredandhank.typepad.com. It will then produce an easier-to-read post. I don't see a way to automate that process, but it will help make the post easier to read. Thanks to Jim Hassert for the excellent tip.

 

MUSIC REPORT

• Random iPod shuffle song of the day: "Because the Night," by Patti Smith. This is a terrific song, one later covered by Bruce Springsteen. But my best Patti Smith story has nothing to do with her music. I once insisted to a few friends from The Post that John McEnroe had married Patti Smith, and while it seemed like a strange match, it was indeed the case. One of my colleagues responded by saying, "Next thing you're going to tell me is that Maria Sharapova is married to Gene Hackman." But I had checked it on the Internet, and as we all know, the Internet is never wrong. Alas, it was,and I was. McEnroe is actually married to Patty Smyth, former lead singer of Scandal. That makes more sense.
• Most-played albums: We played a lot of Elvis today, and also listened to some of Stax's best artists -- Otis Redding, Booker T & The MGs and Wilson Pickett. In a more mellow mood later in the day, I listened to "In a Silent Way," by Miles Davis.

MEAL REPORT

• Lunch: Phillips Grocery, Holly Springs, Miss.: This ramshackle, memorabilia-adorned hole in the wall was listed in Roadfood and in Hamburger America as a must-stop joint. Good news: They were both right. The burgers melted in our mouths, even though I'm generally not a big fan of mustard on burgers. Joan loved her corn nuggets -- which we think were made by taking sweet creamed corn and breading and frying it. My seasoned fries were also excellent. Jim Nutrition Rating: 2 stars (out of 5). Again, it's not the burger; it's the fries that are killing me. I'm such a sucker. Restaurant Rating: 4 stars (out of 5). I argued for 4.5 stars, but Joan felt like the burger -- while very good -- wasn't as good as a Five Guys burger. I disagree, so we averaged out to a 4.
• Dinner: Craig's Bar-B-Q, DeValls Bluff, Ark.: As ramshackle as Phillips was, it looked like the Tavern on the Green compared to this BBQ joint in the tiny town of Devalls Bluff (population 750, give or take a few). The restaurant is easy to miss, and can hold about 20 at any given time. It's a very local joint, as customers walked in and casually would walk into the back to talk to the kitchen staff. Yet, we struck gold again. The BBQ sauce here was the best I've had in years, and had we not been on a long road trip, there would be some in the car right now. Sauce comes in mild, medium or hot. I got hot, and it made the meal. Joan got medium, and was also pleased. Additionally, Craig's also butters, then grills its bread. Mmmm. Joan also noted the excellent addition of apples to Craig's coleslaw. Only down side: Why taint such great food by giving each diner a bag of Fritos? Seems to cheapen the meal. Jim Nutrition Rating: 1.5 stars (out of 5). I got the sausage dinner, with baked beans. I also ate the buttered bread. Oh, andI managed to overcome my outrage and eat the goddamn Fritos anyway. Restaurant Rating: 4.5 stars (out of 5).
• Taking both meals into account, this was alternatively our most successful day (from a taste perspective) and least successful day (from an artery perspective) of the entire journey.

HOTEL REPORT

• Comfort Inn & Suites Downtown Little Rock, Little Rock, Ark.: We were big fans of the Comfort Inns on our 2003 journey, but have found it much more difficult to find ones that accept dogs this time around. We finally did, and damn near almost got ourselves thrown out. Our room is excellent, very spacious with a great view of the downtown skyline. Unfortunately, one of the two elevators isn't working -- the scuttlebutt Joan picked up while walking the dogs is that the broken elevator dropped a short distance with someone in it. Even more unfortunately, the hotel is also hosting a beauty pageant that includes babies, so the lobby is overrun with mascara-wearing six-year-olds. Rating: 3 stars (out of 5). 
• Leftover hotel note from Memphis: We had BBQ takeout on Friday night, and ate at the small desk in the room. Unfortunately, in our post-dinner cleanup, we noticed BBQ spatter on the wall next to the desk. And pretty high up on the wall, no less. Now, outside of the obvious joke about how eagerly we must have been eating to get sauce spatter on the walls and not norice, we were glad we caught this, as it looked like blood spatter. Welcome to CSI: Memphis.

TRAVEL BOOK OF THE DAY

• Hamburger America: The story of one man's journey to find America's best hamburger. Need I say more? I didn't think so.

COMMENT OF THE DAY

From KarenZ, who passes on this unbelievably bad idea:

• Re: long bridges. Some years ago a bright fellow in New Orleans decided that it would be a good idea to stage the city's annual marathon on the Pontchartrain Causeway, which is coincidentally almost exactly the right length and is perfectly flat. The runners, of course, hated it. No cheering crowds along the way. In fact, no nothing along the way. I don't believe they ever tried that again.

That idea falls right up there with the guy who decided that combining a cop show and a musical would make for good TV.

UPCOMING PLAN (subject to change)

• Today: Little Rock, and a drive up scenic Arkansas Route 7.
• Tomorrow: Oklahoma, specifically Tulsa and the eastern part of the state.
• The Day After Tomorrow: Dallas and Austin, Tex.

BONUS BEAGLE PHOTO

A pre-meltdown Fred stands on a slide at a playground in Oxford, Miss. He looks so harmless, doesn't he? Hey, figured we should close this chapter with a cute picture of our normally serene older beagle.

Comments

[Mark Potts]

Ahem. "Because the Night" was later "covered" by Bruce Springsteen? Um, nope. It was basically WRITTEN by Mr. Springsteen. Patti Smith's producer, Jimmy Iovine, who was doing some engineering for Springsteen during the "Darkness on the Edge of Town" sessions, smuggled the song out of the studio and gave it to Ms. Smith, who changed some words and snuck a co-writing credit on it. But it's originally a Springsteen song, and he played it live at shows in the '70s and beyond.

[Mark Potts]

Then again, if you're gonna confuse Patti Smith and Patty Smyth...

[Tammy Kennon]

Laugh if you want, but I thought Cop Rock was awesome. So what if the starring actors and I were the only ones watching? It beats running across Lake Pontchartrain.

[Royelen]

I laughed, I cried, I got mad. All in one blog posting on Fred and Hank Mark America-this one.

What made me mad?

Bruce COVERED Because the Night?

I've decided you just want to make people mad or you wouldn't talk like this. So I'm calm now -- I'm not going to fall for such tricks again. And maybe, just maybe, you have talked to Bruce since he gave himself credit for this song (along with Patti Smith) at http://brucespringsteen.net/songs/BecauseTheNight.html. And if that's the case, I look forward to a posting about that conversation.

Love the blog, please top taunting Fred. And the Bruce fans.

[Adrian Holovaty]

Sorry for the spam, but a quick bug report -- the link to "The trip so far" is broken, both in the navigation and this entry. Looks like there's a space there. When I removed the space, it worked properly.

[Joshua Hatch]

Judging from the previous comments, I'm fairly certain Fred wasn't barking at the window washer, but was incensed at the "Because the Night" faux pas.

Meanwhile, I'm filling out a bingo card of jokes and puns for tomorrow's post from the Clinton Presidential Museum.

[Pam Williams]

Ben's first roommate at Oglethorpe University was a kid named Robert E. Lee (a distant cousin)!

Hope you have the theme song to the musical Oklahoma as you head on through!

Love, Pam, Jack & Boys & Dogs

[Susan Poulton]

After distinctly remembering what it felt like to have my head stuck between the rails of the banister as a kid, I'm with Fred here. Not even Flinstones orange sherbet push pops would coax me out without a full fledged freak out.

[Ellen Zangla]

I kept waiting for the photos of Jim holding up the bed while Fred snarled and bit at your hands. When you wrote, "Thankfully, Joan takes the long view..." I assumed the next line would be something to the effect of, "and said, 'Honey, can you hold it up just a little longer while I get my camera. Now move a little to the right so I can get a better shot." Really.

[Jeff G.]

James R. Presley is the father of Kirk Presley who was a first round draft pick of the NY Mets back in the early 1990's. Kirk was a third cousin of "The King" so there's no question James is part of the family.
Kirk, by the way, is back in Tupelo having suffered several arm injuries. He never made it to the Majors but now works as a coach for a Tupelo American Legion team.

[Tom]

You're a writer right? I mean correct? Ever heard of guy named Faulkner...they have a write-like-Faulkner contest down in Oxford every year...usually pretty funny as the contestants take everyday topics to task w/ Faulkner's prose. That could have been worth seeing on a cool, calm borrowed day where time is marked by the persistent rotation of chrome alloy, wrapped snug inside hard black Ohio rubber, molded by tar-black, smoke belching machines....I bet you could enter and win that contest.

I bet Liberace "blew away" the competition in that car...what headers!

[dentuttle]

Ummmmmmmm, (slobber) Flintstones orange sherbet push pops (drool). . . .

[Dan Kulpinski]

Too bad you didn't stop at the Sun Studio cafe, next to the studio. They have great fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, like Elvis used to eat. No jelly doughnuts with straws, however, that I remember.

[Amy]

Was watching a commercial yesterday and thought of Joan's quest to find the best hotel deals. You might be able to stay at a hotel for free if you stay twice at one of the Choice Hotels: http://www.choicehotels.com/. I haven't checked out all the fine print, but it seemed like something you guys might want to know.

I like the new header, btw.

[Chris Buddie]

Maybe next time, let Fred get a good grip on your hand and make sure his teeth are set and with one forceful tug he'll be outta there in no time.

Or you can do the trail of kibble again. Totally up to you.

BTW, you painted a hilarious picture. I needed that to brighten my day.

[Chris]

Ah, Austin. I assume you're hitting the LBJ library? Better than Carter's from the sounds of things, but still somewhat hagiographic. You can also go to the top of the Charles Whitman shootin' tower on campus. Recced eatin': Stubbs Bar-B-Q (great chow, cool concert venue), Iguana Grill (very good food, even better views). Worth checking out if you have time: A blues show at Antone's or elsewhere on the downtown drag; the Texas state capitol building.

[Chris]

And, were it only to be a Sunday, you could have seen chicken shit bingo at one of the divey-est drink-eries I ever have encountered, Ginny's: http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/multimedia/2008/03/gallery_chicken_bingo.

[Joan Brady]

Hey Amy, thanks for the recommendation.

When we did this in 2003, the Choice Hotels (comfort inn, quality inn, etc) were running a two nights get the third night free -- no restrictions. All comfort inns took dogs and the hotels were all new and clean and mostly had laundry facilities - it was great.

Turns out the fine print this time around is a little different.. reservations must be made through the website or the 800 number But also - not all hotels are participating. Unfortunately, most comfort inns don't take dogs anymore and the quality inns have been -- well less than quality.

We're still taking advantage of the promotion - but aren't as impressed as last time around.

Keep the ideas coming -- there are always things out there that we don't know about!