FHMA Day 19: A Fork in the Road

QUICK FACTS

• Where We Started: Tulsa, Okla.
• Where We Ended: Ennis, Tex.
• Miles Driven: 335 (4,407 total)
• New States: Texas
• Total States: 13 (Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee, Arkansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas)

THE DAY'S HIGHLIGHTS

We try our best on these journeys not to make too many firm date commitments, lest we get ourselves in a position where we have to skip things we want to see and end up on late-night, marathon drives. But, on Tuesday, we reached a fork in our scheduling road, and had to pick up the pace some. The result was a lot of highway driving, with the only highlights being another quite large religious sculpture and a stop to see where Ike got his start in Texas.

The original plan for Tuesday was a tour of Tulsa, followed by a leisurely drive down the Talimena Scenic Drive in Oklahoma and Arkansas, followed by drive into northern Texas. But we got a late start Tuesday, and after an ill-advised drive down what turned out to be a completely boring stretch of Route 66, I realized we didn't have time to do the nice drive. It also then struck me that our need to be in Phoenix by the evening of April 1 -- because of a few professional commitments in my end -- meant we needed to pick up our overall pace. So at about 4:30pm, we decided to lead-foot it south and see how far we could get. The answer: Ennis, Tex., about 40 miles southeast of Dallas. This five-hour ride was a bore, but sometimes practicality has to win the day.

That's not to say we didn't see anything. We spent some time in downtown Tulsa, and took the dogs for a walk at Riverside Park. After lunch, we made a stop at Oral Roberts University to see our Oversized Religious Artifact of the Day, the "Praying Hands" that adorn the entrance to the university. The university, commissioned in 1963, features all sorts of futuristic architecture and, by even Hands-free, is a sight to behold. Joan mentioned that it looked like the school the Jetson kids should have attended, though I don't recall any episodes of the "The Jetsons" that explored Elroy's religious awakening.

The "Praying Hands" at Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Okla.

Now, Joan and I each had a comment on the handy tagline on the sculpture, which said, "Educating the whole man." Joan, taking a serious, sober look at the cultural ramifications of such a phrase, wanted to know why "man" was used instead of a less gender-specific phrase. Me, being the smart ass I am, wanted to know why, if they were so focused on educating the whole man, the statue was only of two hands. Other than Cousin Itt from "The Addams Family," I don't think hands make any man.

By the way, it's hard to get a sense of how big this sculpture is, so here's a picture I took of Joan taking her photo.

Joan at the "Praying Hands" sculpture. Man hands, indeed. (Photo by Jim)

We wanted to do a little time on historic Route 66, so we decided to drive a 25-mile stretch outside Tulsa, and found it to be decidedly unhistoric. Newly paved, and lined with Sonics and Wal-Mart, it felt more like Route 666. We then did a quick swing through Okemah, Okla., where Woody Guthrie was born. Once we realized that Okemah didn't seem to much care about being Woody's birthplace, we decided we shouldn't care either. We stopped to use a restroom, at which point I decided we were changing course.

From there, it was pretty much U.S.-69, U.S.-75 and I-45 all the way. The only detour was a stop in  Denison, Tex., a tired town which doesn't have much going for it other than being Dwight D. Eisenhower's birthplace. Interesting story: It was originally presumed that Eisenhower was born -- like his brothers -- in Tyler, Tex. Ike himself thought so. But after little Dwight became Supreme Allied Commander, Denison's denizens protested, suggesting he was actually born there. Further investigation by the President's Commission on Presidential Birthplaces -- OK, I'm making that up -- revealed he was indeed born in Denison. So the town turned the entire block around where he was born into a state historic site.

 
Fred sits on the front porch of the home where Dwight D. Eisenhower was born, in Denison, Tex.

Q&A

Since today was mostly a driving day on the tour, let me respond to some comments and/or questions we've received over the past few days.

From Dennis Tuttle: Yeeesh! Watching you eat is an insult to phat people everywhere. If you're going to skip local joints in lieu of chains and give us the pretense of diet . . . goddammit, do it right! Enough with the Fritos and small fries. Don't just bomb, go down nuclear by hitting the 10 Unhealthiest Lunches in America: http://health.msn.com/nutrition/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100234410&GT1=31036 
Jim Responds: Joan and I discussed a while ago the need for us to balance the desire to share this experience with others with a desire to actually survive the trip. We decided that we would sample as many highly-touted or recommended places as we could, but that when none was available, we'd try and eat healthier. Now, we can all joke about how successful we've been on that mission, but let's just say, eating less healthy is not an option, unless you're hoping for FHMA Day 45: The Coronary in Carmel. 

From David Aldridge: The Lennon Sisters?! What did Tony do with Dawn? That bastard.
Jim Responds: Excellent question, and one I meant to address in my Branson post. According to the All-Music Guide, Tony Orlando retired from show business in 1977 because of mounting drug problems and depression related to the death of his sister and close friend Freddie Prinze. Dawn attempted to forge on without him, but Dawn without Tony Orlando turned into a career blackout. Of course, this being show business, Orlando unretired four months later, and 32 years later, has made it all the way back to Branson.

From Amy Kovac: If you drive on Interstate 40 in Texas, try to go through Groom. There will be a structure there you won't be able to miss.
Jim Responds: In fact, we saw this huge cross on our 2003 trip. We were there late a night, so couldn't get a good pic, but here's someone else's picture of this cross, the second-biggest in the Western Hemisphere. (For the record, I have no idea who measures these things, so this could be wrong).

 

ROAD SCRAPS

• In the Music Report below, I describe the barren landscape I encountered when seeking Oklahoma-raised musicians to listen to. Joan and I were discussing this, and she suggested that maybe I had the score from the musical "Oklahoma!" that we could listen to. So let me set the record straight: Movie music and show tunes are NOT the same thing. I actually can't stand musicals, and have a special place in my black heart for the ridiculous "West Side Story." Nothing like fearsome dancing gangs. Where are the Crips and/or Bloods when you need them?
• Cruising down I-40 in Oklahoma, we stumbled upon the small town of Henryetta, Okla., where Troy Aikman moved when he was 12 years old and where actress Alice Ghostley (Betwitched, Designing Women) was born. Not surprisingly, the signs around town seem to focus on Aikman. After being urged to stop and see Aikman's home by a number of road signs, we hopped off the interstate, where the signs stopped. Deciding we were not that interested, we got back on the highway. But we can now say we've been to Henryetta.
• We cruised through downtown Dallas on our way to Ennis, and for the first time since we left home, I felt like I was back on the Beltway. If I had a helmet in the car, I would have strapped it on. All the polite driving and laid-back feel on the highways of the South disappeared in an instant. We saw a car cut off a truck and almost cause a wreck. I was going 80, and had to timidly keep moving right, as I was getting blown away by 18-wheelers. It does make you realize how hard it must be to drive in a big city if you don't live in one; it was quite a jolt to suddenly be in "Days of Thunder" after three weeks of "Driving Miss Daisy." But by the time we got to Ennis, I had my mojo back and was cutting people off just for fun. That was a joke, Mom. I have still only used the middle finger once on this trip.
  

MUSIC REPORT

• Random iPod shuffle song of the day: "Achilles Last Stand," by Led Zeppelin. I've already mentioned this song in this blog, so I won't bore you again with a long rant about how underrated it is. Instead, I'll bore you with my list of other underrated Led Zeppelin songs: "Out on the Tiles," "How Many More Times," "No Quarter," "The Rover," "When the Levee Breaks" and "Ozone Baby."
• Re: my Rush rant. I'll give on Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five, and I'll accept that the Velvet Underground were influential, though the group's impact on anything beyond other musicians is debatable. (Can anyone name more than one Velvet Underground song?) But the Lovin' Spoonful? The Rascals? Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Popular? Yes. Rock and roll? No.) Bruce Springsteen? (OK, that was a joke; just tweaking the Boss fanatics).
• By the way, Rush has been a major influence on pretty much every progressive band of the past 30 years, so they don't come up short there either. The Hall just seems to dislike progressive music, since Yes, the Moody Blues and King Crimson are also on the outside looking in. I happen to like progressive music, and I wasn't even in the AV club in high school.
• We tried to play Oklahoma artists during our time there, but it's a pretty grim list if you don't like country. Last year, a music blog named Oklahoma's Top 100 musicians. The top 10, from top to bottom: Woody Guthrie, Garth Brooks, Gene Autry, Reba McEntire, the Flaming Lips, Charlie Christian, Vince Gill, Leon Russell, Bob Wills & The Texas Playboys and the Gap Band. These 10 artists have a total of five songs on my iPod, four from Woody Guthrie.
  
• Most-played albums: Lots of Zeppelin today. I needed some driving tunes.

MEAL REPORT

• Lunch: Cancun International Restaurant, Tulsa, Okla.: Roadfood said this restaurant served the best authentic Mexican food in Tulsa, and it was indeed good, though not amazing. The salsa with the chips was terrific, and my chicken burrito was very good. Joan had a sweet rice drink called horchata that she loved. But she was not as impressed with the crispy tacos she ordered, if for no other reason, because they brought soft tacos. Jim Nutrition Rating: 1 star (out of 5). Carbs hell. Restaurant Rating: 3.5 stars (out of 5).
• Dinner: Chipotle, Sherman, Tex.: Yes, we had Mexican for lunch, but sometimes when you've been away from home for a while, a familiar site like Chipotle creates a magnetic pull. Joan had a burrito bol. Jim Nutrition Rating: 1 stars (out of 5). Another burrito. More chips. Next weigh: Not looking good. Restaurant Rating: 4 stars (out of 5, on the fast food scale). We are big Chipotle fans.

HOTEL REPORT

• Baymont Inn & Suites, Ennis, Tex.: This hotel, which, until recently, was a Best Western. So it still has some of the Best Western look and feel, but thankfully, it's got the Baymont service. The guest laundry was broken, and since that -- plus Joan's crack-like obsession with doing laundry -- was a big attraction for coming to this hotel, she was disappointed. So the woman at the front desk allowed her to use the hotel laundry. Extra star for great customer service. Laundry aside, the high-speed was blazing fast and the bed very comfortable. Rating: 4 stars (out of 5). We still ♡ Baymont.

COMMENT OF THE DAY

From Lori Hoffer, who posits that my soda drinking is another reason I'm not losing weight in any meaningful way:

• Jim (and more importantly, Jim's nutritionist)-- How in the world can you not realize the impact of your vase quantities of soda on your weight and overall health? Seriously, boy. And don't give me any "but it's diet" nonsense. Wanna lose some weight? Keep a gallon of water in the car instead of a gallon of soda and then report back in a week. I challenge you! (As if you care)

It is a well-known fact that I do indeed drink massive quantities of diet soda. And I am aware that, even though diet soda is a far better option than regular soda, there are better beverage options for me. But here's the issue: I'm an addict. If I don't drink 8-10 sodas a day, I get major caffeine headaches. And considering how much I'm driving, I can't bear the thought of a splitting headache during a late-night drive. So I've accepted that, if I'm going to have less soda, it's an effort I will have to take on when I'm safely back at home and can be weaned off of it the way Gene Hackman was weaned off of heroin in "French Connection II." (Don't see it; it stinks). But Lori is correct that it's probably not helping. But switching to beer before the long drives seems like a bad idea.

UPCOMING PLAN (subject to change)

• Today: The Gulf Coast of Texas, including Galveston, Texas City and Port Arthur.
• Tomorrow: Austin, Tex.
• The Day After Tomorrow: San Antonio, and a long drive toward Big Bend National Park.

BONUS BEAGLE PHOTO

Beagles don't really allow anyone to be their Supreme Commander, but if anyone could get it done, it'd be Ike. So the boys show proper deference at the Eisenhower Birthplace in Denison, Tex.

Comments

[Dan Cusimano]

The Gap Band is from Oklahoma?!?!? Who knew?

[Pam Williams]

Jim & Joan - The All American Rejects, The Hansons and The Nixons are all from Oklahoma! Sonic has something in the Southwest it doesn't offer in the Southeast - Pickleos - fried pickles with melted cheese on them - they sound awful, but they are awesome!
Love, Pam, Jack & Boys

[Eric Easter]

A minor correction. Not Cousin Itt, but "Thing". Cousin Itt was the hairy guy (uh,being). Thing was the hand in the box.

Don't ask why I know this.

[Frank Hughes]

For the love of God, please go to Boudros for the guacamole on the riverwalk in San Antonio, and then Rudy's BBQ -- which are usually housed in gas stations and have a feel like no other place.

[L'OrIlana]

Hello hello--

1) I completely agree. Soda is better than beer, especially while driving. Really I'm more curious if you and your nutritionist even want to address it. This is because I'm just a curious person. And not a soda drinker. Addictions are tough. My addiction is being a pain in the arss.

2) I LOVE horchata also! If you come through here, we can take you guys down to an awesome local Mexican place. Actually, we have a couple to choose from. Or we can cook you something healthy. Or both. To balance it out :)

3) The praying hands remind me a litte of "The Awakening" statue. I wish it wasn't moved.

4) May we suggest a stop in Boulder, Utah? Yes, it is in the middle of nowhere but there are some great hiking areas around (like Grand Escalante) and a great little hotel and restaurant where you should have a killer meal. Check out www.boulder-utah.com for the hotel (which does allow dogs) and www.hellsbackbonegrill.com for the restaurant on the same property. Caveat-- the hotel is small and family run so you'd really need to make a reservation and then stick to it. I know that's not easy on this trip. We have stayed there and it was lovely. So it isn't a little junk heap or anything.

5) Ori declared last night that I have been picking on you. Have I been picking on you? If so, I'm sorry. It's a side effect of my addiction (mentioned above).

Safe travels!

[Joan]

You make me think of one of my favorite tv shows: Diners Drive-Ins & Dives on the Foodnetwork. Here are a couple of Austin, TX recommendations from the show:

Maria's Taco Xpress
2529 S. Lamar Blvd.
Austin, TX 78704
Tel: (512) 444-0261

Casino El Camino
517 E 6th St.
Austin, TX 78701
Tel: (512) 469-9330

Magnolia Cafe
1920 S Congress Ave
Austin, TX 78704
Tel: (512) 445-0000

Green Mesquite
1400 Barton Springs Rd.
Austin, TX 78704
Tel: (512) 479-0485

I'll bet they are just what the doctor ordered for your diet! LOL! Maybe not but I'll bet they are all good.

[Sully]

Two words. Taco Cabana.
You're welcome.
;)
http://www.tacocabana.com/index.asp

[Amy]

Thanks for the link to the photo of the cross. I hadn't seen it from the air before - only from my own car window on a solo sprint across the country. It certainly was an eerie site, rising up out of the night sky when I drove past.

[Mary Lou White]

I'm eagerly awaiting tomorrow's post of Janis Joplin sites.
And you should have a really great music day.

[Paul]

For great Tex-Mex, find yourself a Pappasitos. Great margaritas, excellent guacamole made table side, nachos but their beef fajitas are the best. Won't find them outside of Texas and you may find yourself going more than once.

[Sonja]

Hope you had a chance to visit Kemah on your way down to Galveston. I'm not sure how much damage the Hurricane did, but it's a cute little boardwalk town.

[Paul]

http://www.pappasitos.com/locations.htm

I wouldn't steer you wrong.

[Tamara & John and their beagles, Elvis and Abbey, from Michigan]

thanks for the pics of the cross and the praying hands! There's something you'll need to see for your "religious objects" collection if ever your travels take you into Michigan. Near Iron River (northern part of the lower penninsula) there is the Cross in the Woods National Shrine. I've been there, it's pretty impressive. It may compete in size with the Oral Roberts cross (but probably not)...not sure how tall that one is, but the cross part of this crucifix is 55 feet and made out of one Redwood tree back in the mid-50s.

http://www.crossinthewoods.com/

And you're right; beagles are always in command even though we humans try to tell them otherwise.

Sympathies about the caffeine addiction. I just kicked the habit out of medical necessity almost two months ago (newly diagnosed with Miniere's Disease, the caffeine seems to exacerbate the vertigo. So bye-bye, dear friend that was caffeine. Sigh.

[Bridget]

Shooting for April 1st for a Phoenix visit? We will be here.

The Peacock Family

[Ellen Zangla]

1) Rush: When I was in high school, my boyfriend's friend told me I had hair like Geddy Lee. I was thrilled.

2) It's much more interesting and always a lot funnier to take people's signs literally, "Educating the whole man." But I would offer up that the statue would have been Statue of Liberty size-like based on the size of the hands if they'd built "the whole man".

[Claudia]

Thank you for sticking up for RUSH, Jim! It takes courage to do so. (Why do most people laugh when my cell phone rings and it blares "Tom Sawyer"?? which is, by the way, one of my least favorite Rush songs, but pickings were slim on AT&T's free ringtone selection).

Anyway, Rock on...you and Joan are a great team, ditto on Fred & Hank, and I'm really enjoying your blog.

[Mike Mills]

1. Rush's "Fly By Night" taught me my first easy chords on guitar (left-handed and upside down, unfortunately).

2. Knowing what you went through on the Patti-Bruce gaffe, I'm hesitant to pile on regarding Cousin It and the Thing. But what the hell.

3. At least chain junk food joints have websites that make it easier to count calories. I'm amazed by how frank Quiznos and Arby's are about their calorie counts online (tip #1: eliminate cheese and "sauce" and you cut cals by half; tip #2: Arby's roast beef is half the cals of Arby's "garden fresh" veggie wrap). There oughta be a law.